battlefields: a sestina

For years I’ve been stymied by fear
there is so often a suffocating dread
following like a cloud at my heels
It’s all those little battlefields
I carry in spite of my aching back
agony burns my shoulders with a weight

I feel pain now controls my fate
every thought has now become drear
a once strong body now gone slack
waiting for each new doubt to spread
randomly across these bloody battlefields
hampered by mud beneath chariot wheels

this unknown enemy dogging my heels
bears down with ever increasing weight
I struggle over countless battlefields
eyes constantly rain tear after tear
not apt to lessen this feeling of dread
no way is found to hold emotions back

another wave of panic tortures my back
sends waves of despair down to my heels
shaking a spirit already crushed by dread
I feel lost beneath this black weight
will I ever be able to overcome this fear
that invades all my personal battlefields

that invades all worldwide battlefields
making it impossible to turn back
even were I able to face my fear
doubt would forever shadow my heels
even were I able to bear this weight
there would come another to dread

much like butter smeared on my bread
a necessary part of all battlefields
this foreboding, ever present weight
like a searing flame on my bloody back
what little courage I once had spills
away as I feel each new spasm of fear

should I dare turn back to face this fear
beneath this weight that keeps dread
on my heels across endless battlefields

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